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Self-compassion continued

Self-compassion includes an element of wisdom a recognition of our common humanity. An understanding that all people are imperfect and all people have imperfect lives. When we have made mistakes when we have failed we react as if something has gone wrong this shouldn’t be happening, I shouldn’t have failed, I shouldn’t have this issue in my life this shouldn’t be happening to me.

That belief that everyone else in the world has got it together, living perfect lives without any problems, can cause a lot of suffering and isolation. When we have self-compassion it isn’t ‘poor me’ but that everyone fails, everyone struggles, this is what it means to be human, this is normal, it helps open the door to acceptance rather than self-punishment. Compassion means honoring this humanness.

Learning to show compassion to ourselves isn’t just another self-help approach there is an impressive growing body of research showing that practicing relating to ourselves with kindness and care just as we would with a good friend is essential for our wellbeing. By taking away the consequences of harsh self-judgment it can strengthen us against depression, anxiety and stress. It helps bring about a happier and more hopeful approach to life.

I have included the following link to a website with articles to support us when we are not quite there yet with self-compassion a way of easing into it “If you have a hard time with self-compassion, this could help” and “How to be kind to yourself when you feel like you can’t”.

Go Well
Jackie Calder
School Counsellor
calderj@scotscollege.school.nz

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